Sunday, August 7, 2011

Chapter 1: The Breeze in Her Fur

Wolfrock stood close to the cliff. "Hello." Lily said.
"Mother! What brings you here today?"
"Well, you are my eldest pup. I just wanted to say, take care of your brothers and sisters."
"What do you mean?"
But Lily was already far ahead. She seemed to walk into the clouds, abandoning Wolfrock...
"Mother!"
Wolfrock called. There was nothing. Was it over? Her puphood? Her lessons? Her mother?
"She's gone!" Wolfrock heard a voice boom from a cave. Her cave. It was her father, probably sobbing over Lily. "Oh, Mother, Mother. Why even bother, to try to be true, when all I ever said was 'I love you?'"
Wolfrock recited her father's, Boulder, poem. He had written it for her. "I love you, Mother." Why had she even died?
Wolfrock slowly and glumly walked back a cave. But before she could get close, a lightning bolt struck. How could that happen? The sky was clear? Unless...
"Phantoms!" She screamed, alerting everyone.
She watched as everything caught on fire. Her mother's body was nothing but ashes. Her father's face was covered in blood. One of her little brothers was even dead. Wolfrock felt something stab her heart. Like a knife. Boulder fell down with a thud. Wolfrock knew she had to get out. That wouldn't be easy with a twisted paw. She ran as fast she could, with only a diary and a few wolf plushies. "Oh, Mira, help us!"
A gray wolf stood in her path. "You will be forgiven!" he said. Then he disappeared. What did he mean? She hadn't done anything wrong!

14 comments:

  1. Scary yet really good!!!

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  2. Awesome restart....I like it even better:)

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  3. That's wicked! I want to help with chapters!!! P.S Whats a url?

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  4. princess moonclaws the kingdom hearts freak A.K.A ekoorb4321August 12, 2011 at 3:44 AM

    as my best friend I know somebody parishes in this... Maybe. I don't mean to hurt your feelings as I am your Number 1 fan!!! That is awesome though! :) :D :P

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  5. which bro died? or was that guy just a random character.

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  6. GONNA DO SOME MORE OF IT??!!!!!!! :D
    -Dukescaryclaw
    P.S PLEASE??????

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  7. Nice! But I recommend to add more detail of getting around and stuff...most of the story is just like talking. Also, this is the correct way to say something: ''I am saying this randomly for an example, ''Darkbraken mewed frantically. See? There isn't a period, there is a comma. Anyways, it is pretty good!

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  8. @Darkbraken
    Yeah...I kind of agree with that:) also, you can actually do it both ways, but yours is much more traditional. I will try to do it:)

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  9. I think it's an AWESOME story!!! I never read a story like that before- you're a good author!!

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  10. @Megan D
    Thanks!
    @Devyn786
    It's a web address. Sorry, but this has only one author, however, you can still help with Zios of Jamaa:)
    @Jindo
    It's 10X better. The original was awful!

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  11. @Key99
    Random character, but it becomes bigger later on:)

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  12. omg i loved the story! great start to a great story!

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